She Stole More Than My Clothes
by Aurlana
Summary: Poor Alistair got his knickers stolen while he was bathing in a nearby river. Who would do such a thing? And what would they hope to gain by stealing his clothes? Written for Dragon Age Halloween Week - Day 1 Sneaky Witch Thieves!


**Summary:**

Poor Alistair got his knickers stolen while he was bathing in a nearby river.  
Who would do such a thing?  
And what would they hope to gain by stealing his clothes?

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 **Written for Dragon Age Halloween Week - Day 1**  
 **Sneaky Witch Thieves!**

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 **Notes:**

This chapter is mostly safe for work: some mild nudity.

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 **All recognizable content belongs to Bioware/EA Games  
All twisted perversions therein, are all on me ~ You're welcome!  
**

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 **Dragon Age Halloween Week**

 **Day One - October 24, 2017**

 **Sneaky Witch-Thieves**

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 **She Stole More Than My Clothes**

"Ok, where are they? Which one of you took them?" I stormed into the clearing practically naked and furious. The conversations around the fire immediately halted. I heard several snickers and a few of our companions made themselves scarce, wanting no part of this confrontation.

I glared at those who remained, trying to discern which one of them was guilty. "One of _you_ took my clothes while I was washing up and left behind this flimsy red strip of-" I look down at the barely there piece of cloth I've got wrapped around my nether region. Still wet from my dip in the river, the fabric clung to my skin revealing more than it concealed. "Well, I'm not exactly sure _what_ this is made of, but it certainly isn't doing the job I'd like it to." I finish lamely.

Zevran leered at me, his gaze full of want and… something uniquely Zevran, "Oh, it is working for me, very well. Muy Caliente. I am, quite enjoying this view."

"Of course you are, Zevran. I suppose next you'll be offering to teach me some of your fabled _massage techniques_?" I sneered with distaste.

"Well, you are certainly dressed for it. Or _undressed_ , as the case may be. But alas, I can see you want no part of what this humble Crow has to offer. Let me know when you find your mysterious thief, I would like to _thank_ them personally for the show."

I rolled my eyes as Zevran retired to his bedroll. He clearly wasn't the culprit-this time.

My eyes next landed on- _the girls_ : Leliana, Solana, Wynne, and Morrigan. They were huddled together, giggling, and pointing.

Of course they were, pointing.

Solana held her hands over her mouth while she tried to stifle her laughter. Wynne looked mildly amused, but otherwise disinterested. Leliana and Morrigan looked like the cats that swallowed the pigeons, or however that blasted saying went.

I couldn't, for the life of me, think of why anyone would want to steal _my_ clothes. Wynne was more likely to mend them than steal them. Leliana and Solana have been expressing more interest in each other lately, I couldn't imagine them finding any interest in my manly bits either. That left-

My eyes grew wide with realization as they landed on Morrigan. Catching her gaze, I thought I saw a spark of fear? Worry? Hesitancy? Whatever it was, it was very _un-Morrigan-_ like. Then it was gone, her usual confident mask sliding cooly into place.

"Well, Alistair. This is certainly a side of you that I never thought I'd see." Morrigan took a sultry step forward. I'd never felt more like prey than I did at that very moment. "Is there something wrong? You look a little flustered."

"My clothes are gone." I managed to choke out. The anger that fueled my rampage into the camp, suddenly gone. I tried to hide my panic as I looked anywhere _but_ at the alluring woman sauntering toward me. In my current state of undress, I was feeling more than a little _exposed._

"I can see that, and I must agree with Zevran, it is not a _bad_ show, at all. 'Tis a pity that my sash isn't a little bit smaller."

She looked _too_ confident; _too_ certain to be innocent. Then her words finally sunk in. " _Your_ sash? You! You stole them didn't you? You're some kind of… sneaky… witch thief!"

She laughed, a deliciously warm sound, but didn't deny it.

Her alto timbre ignited things in me that were better left undisturbed. "You did! Give them back. Those...those are Grey Warden property and I suggest you return them, at once!" I tried to sound confident and courageous, but all I felt was cold in the rapidly fading, cool autumn light.

Morrigan put her hands on her hips and took another sensual step forward, "I will not, for 'twas not _I_ who removed them… technically." She finished with a slight shrug of her shoulder and half-smirk on her pouty lips.

This woman was going to eat me alive. She's the one I'd been dreaming about, the one that I-I shook my head to clear the traitorous thoughts. "You may not have _removed_ them, but I know you're behind it! You're the only one around here who takes pleasure in torturing me."

"Oh, but you make it so _easy,_ my dear Alistair. Just look at you. All flushed and ripe for the picking. Your _assets_ are quite pleasing to the eye, 'tis a pity that they're usually encased behind all that armor." Her eyes roamed appreciatively down my body, then back up again, "I can think of so many things I'd rather do than torture you."

She wasn't serious, was she? This had to be some cruel joke. First: steal the bastard's clothes and tease him with his deepest, darkest desire. Then what? Probably laugh, once she's seen that I've fallen into her trap. I can't let myself… I won't fall for it!

"No, No, No," I backed away from Morrigan. "Why would I trust you? Why would you want to do _that_ with _me_?" My head was spinning as I tried to figure it out. This couldn't be right, Morrigan _hated_ me! Didn't she? I sighed heavily, "I just want my clothes back, Morrigan."

"Oh, but Alistair," she prowled back into my personal space. There were warm sparks crackling from one hand while she ran the fingertips of her other over my shoulder and across my chest. She stopped with her hand splayed over my sternum, " _I_ could warm you up if you'd like. You must be chilly being so _exposed_."

With that gentle pressure on my chest, I began to take steps backward. She followed, never allowing for more than an inch or two between us.

"N...no, thank you. I'm sure I'll be all right." I gripped the cloth tighter around my waist as I continued my small steps backward, away from the campfire, away from the safety of my friends.

"I don't mind. Really. 'Twould be _my_ pleasure." Morrigan leaned forward as we walked and brushed her nose over the pulse on my neck. Her breath causing me to shiver.

This would be a terrible, _horrible_ idea. But Maker, Morrigan was making me-

Another shiver rushed through me as I closed my eyes against my inner turmoil. Her hand on my chest was warm and uncharacteristically gentle. Her thumb rubbed a tiny circle over where my heart normally rests. It wasn't resting now though, but _racing_ at her proximity-at her touch. I prayed that she wouldn't get too much closer, or she would certainly notice that _other_ parts of me were beginning to perk up as well.

I fought with myself internally over what to do. On the one hand, she was beautiful, soft, and vulnerable-though I wasn't brave enough to acknowledge that little observation out loud. But on the other hand, she was intelligent, fierce, independent, and downright scary with the powers she had at her disposal.

She was everything I'd ever wanted, everything I should have avoided. Was she just toying with me? Or, could this feeling actually be mutual?

Her hands once again alighted on my shoulders; softer, gentler than I expected. I wouldn't look yet; I couldn't trust myself not to give in.

I can't risk it.

"Risk what, Alistair?"

Did I say that last part out loud? I opened my eyes in fear and wonder. We'd managed to make our way across the camp where her own private fire burned warm and bright.

Her voice became softer, kinder, "I… know we don't always get along, Alistair. We bicker and fuss at each other. I thought, at first, it was because you hated me-feared me."

She sighed disparagingly, "Everyone else does, at least a little bit. But, I wouldn't ever harm you, Alistair. And I'm sorry about your clothes. I had Leliana pinch them for me, while you were washing up. I was merely having a bit of fun! I actually… like you."

I chuckle softly, bewildered by her sincerity, "Now I _know_ that I should be worried. First it's 'I like you…' but then 'zap! Frog time!'

She dipped her head demurely, "I can turn into many animals, Alistair, if you have a particular preference. Though, I would prefer to take you in my current form." She raised her eyes to mine, the shyness of before, replaced with fire.

"Take… me?" I squeaked.

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "Have… sex, Alistair. Enjoy intercourse. Share sexual intimacies. Mate with you. Become one horizontally… or vertically, I have no preference. Do any of these phrases work for you?" Her arms were now wrapped around my shoulders; my hands, having found their way to her hips, were pulling us together. Our lips so close to touching, waiting, wanting.

Maker, take it all. If this turns out to be a cruel joke, I'll face the consequences. I've faced worse.

I reached up and cupped her cheek, "Morrigan, yes. I-I would like to… make love to you." She closed the distance in a soft, tentative kiss. We parted briefly; searching each other's faces, gauging, contemplating. When our lips touched a second time, it was with a fierceness born of so much pent up energy, finally let go. It was filthy. It was beautiful.

She took a step back, her chest heaving as she caught her breath. The familiar look of mischievousness, back in her eye.

My heart fell. I closed my eyes against the prickling of tears imminent once the other shoe dropped.

Here it comes.

It wasn't long before I felt her hand in mine, "Alistair, look at me."

I dared a glance and found the same softness there as before.

"If that is what you would prefer to call it, then that is what we shall name it. I want _you_ , Alistair. I've tried to get your attention for so long, but nothing I did seemed to work. I despaired that you would never return my affections, then Wynne told me that we already bickered like an old married couple. Her observation-gave me hope."

I chuckled weakly, "So you decided to steal my clothes?"

"It got you over to my tent, did it not?"

I looked around her private campsite. "It did at that. But Morrigan-"

"Tell me, you _don't_ want this Alistair, and I will return your clothes so you can go back to the others. Tell me… you don't feel what I feel, that this electricity between us, has nothing to do with my magic and everything to do with-"

I crushed my lips to hers again. Her cold, hard exterior held nothing to her sweet, plump, soft lips. My thin strip of fabric was long since forgotten as I wrapped my arms fully around her slender waist and pulled her tight to my chest.

Maker, she was perfect!

A low moan escaped her lips as our tongues touched. Her hands in my hair, frantically holding us together.

Parting, once again, I leaned my forehead against hers, "Morrigan," I said reverently.

"Yes?"

"Please tell me this isn't some trick. Please tell me you haven't cast some spell on me and that I'm not a fool for falling for you."

"You are certainly a fool, Alistair. But I would like you to be, _my_ fool. If… you'll have me. And there have been no love potions or spells, I can assure you."

I grinned deviously, "But… what would your mother say?"

"My mother can go find her own Warden if she wants one. _This_ one is spoken for."

She pushed me down into her tent with a grin. Landing on a mound of soft pillows, I slowly crept backwards up the mat. She crawled in on top of me-catlike, predatory-her smile seductive and victorious as she successfully cornered her prey.

How clueless and naive I'd been-jaded by my own inexperience to think she'd ever see anything in me. We could have been here _months_ ago.

As our bodies melded for the first time that night, I truly felt alive-even loved, though I hesitate to say those words to Morrigan. She would much rather _show_ love than explain it.

That sneaky witch-thief - stole more than my clothes that night.

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 **A/N** \- One day down - six more delicious Dragon Age Halloween days to go!  
You can follow along on tumblr: DAHalloween

I will be posting every day for this event! You can find me on Tumblr as Aurlyn!

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 **End Notes:**

Thank you to the ever amazing Ponticle for being my guide and task master. ;)


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